Defragmenting Ourselves
When I was practicing law and computers were becoming networked, our IT expert insisted we turn off our machines every night. While the computers were sleeping, they were busy defragmenting, which meant pulling back together the pieces of data that had broken apart (at least that was how I understood it.) She said, if I didn’t turn off my personal computer, the whole network threatened to crash.
I think of this when I sit in contemplation. I’ve followed a contemplative practice for years. It has taken me forever, however, to understand how it works for me. What doesn’t work is getting quiet, shutting my eyes, focusing on a candle flame in my mind, or reciting a mantra while I try to let my thoughts drift on by without taking hold of me. No. What works is for me to sit in an active place—porches are great. On a porch, life swirls around me, but no one is watching what I am doing.
Seated there, I take in the world. What I’m seeing, smelling, hearing, feeling. (Tasting is hard, but I’ve done it.) Instead of retreating from the world, I immerse myself in it. Not forming thoughts about it. Just experiencing it.
Contemplative Writing
Last year, I began to tweak this into a contemplative writing practice. I start the same way, but wait for a nudge to write something down. When that happens, I pick up my pen, write no more than 3-4 sentences, then put the pen back down (or lift my fingers from the keyboard.) This is key. The practice isn’t a river of words. It is quiet. A nudge. Quiet. Repeat.
The practice makes me amazingly present. And it defragments me.
CW as Defragmenting
As I sit in this intentional awareness, the parts of me that daily life has scattered slowly, effortlessly glide back into place. My brokenness is healed. I run more smoothly after that.
Doing this practice last night—this is so embarrassing—I suddenly remembered I had outlined, chapter-by-detailed-chapter, a sequel to my homeless mystery Harboring Evil. In my defense, I worked on this story during COVID lockdown, when reality itself slipped into a big black hole. I had an agent I thought would sell Coot’s story, and a sequel seemed appropriate. She didn’t sell it. Her efforts made it impossible to get another agent for the story, and I quietly slipped it in the drawer.
But, in the new 2024, I am submitting an improved version of Harboring Evil to small presses. I thought, I really need a sequel to this. Which I have almost already written. Which I remembered when contemplation began defragmenting me.
The Lord works in mysterious ways, indeed.
Contemplative Writing, defragmenting, Harboring Evil, Memphis mystery stories, stories set in Memphis, Wolf River Harbor
Donna
Fingers crossed for you Ellen!
Ellen Morris Prewitt
Thank you! When I was linking this blog post to an earlier one on Harboring Evil, I saw where you were wishing me luck back then. You have been supportive for a looooong time–thank you!
Joanne Corey
How wonderful that you’ve found contemplative practice methods that work for you. I admit I’m also someone for whom the accustomed practice doesn’t work but I haven’t been dedicated enough to pursue my own path.
Best wishes for the future of Harboring Evil and its sequel!
Ellen Morris Prewitt
Thank you! I kept at the traditional method because it was the only one I had ever been taught. Recognition of different paths seems to have opened up as more people of color and women talk about their practices. That gave me permission to try a new way. 🙂
Julie Whitehead
WOW! Wishing you the best with querying the old project and writing the new! Your story sounds so much like mine–I had an agent query Hurricane Baby around NYC in the late 2000’s. it didn’t sell as a novel, and I shelved it and kept writing. Nothing from that period sold, and my agent and I parted ways. But in 2022 I was inspired to haul Hurricane Baby out again and see if I could make it work as a set of linked short-stories–and it worked! All that to say–it can be done!
Ellen Morris Prewitt
This is the kind of story I need to hear. (And so glad you found the blog). I love the name Hurricane Baby. It’s so descriptive and inviting. How quickly it sold if you picked it up in 2022 and it’s already coming out—congratulations! Look forward to meeting in person.