The (True) Story of the Giraffe and Lambkins

Then there was the time when I was lying on the floor playing with Aubrey and Giselle the French Giraffe (whose real name was Sophie the French Giraffe but I didn’t know that at the time) and I kept using this horrible French/Mexican accent for the Giraffe which would have been okay (Aubrey is only nine months old) except I was there on the floor with a real French woman and I was talking in this terrible stereotypical voice (“I am Gi-zell, the French Gi-raff. I have zee polke-dotted earz.”).

I put down the Giraffe.

But when I picked up the lamb, I thought of Lamb Chop on Captain Kangaroo who also seemed French to me (“Awwww, Shar-ii.”) So again out came the offensive accent: “I am zee lambkins. I cuver my eyez. You keen-nut zee me.”

I was powerless to stop it.

I know that this woman is telling her husband about it right now: “There I was sitting on the floor right next to her and she’s going on and on. Zee this. Zee that. Pfftt!”

Here’s to creative synthesis . . .

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