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Odd Ellen Facts

It’s time once again to offer some Odd Ellen Facts (is the adjective on the facts or on Ellen? You decide). They’re “Strange but true” statements from my life, unembellished, unfootnoted. Let’s begin:

My uncle once wrote me a letter to suggest I buy a Roomba. Not only would the robotic vacuum cleaner keep my house tidy, Hebron believed it would give me some company. Could my life have been so pitiful he thought a vacuum cleaner would offer solace? Obviously.

I’m a Godzilla freak. My grandsons talk Pokemon. I talk Godzilla. When they grow up, they’ll tell their friends, “Oh, yeah? Well, my grandmother was a Godzilla freak.”

It’s taken me to age 61 to admit it: I don’t like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches.

I make fabric art from dryer lint.

At one time in my life, I ordered so many clothes online (all of my clothes, every last piece through catalogs, when I was living in Jackson, Mississippi, and considered its fashion scene not-for-crap), I knew my credit card number by heart.

I have six toes on one foot. Not really. I was just wondering if you’re actually reading this list.

I’m not afraid of speaking in public. Not one whit. I have LOTS of fears. Speaking in public, the most common of all fears, isn’t one of them.

My legs work perfectly well, but when my wine glass runs dry, I often ask my husband to pour me more wine.

I wear contacts at night that reshape my eyeballs. I take them off in the morning, and I have perfect eyesight. It only lasts for 24 hours, then I have to put the reshaping contacts back in.

I went one year without TV. No TV at home. No TV anywhere. When TV re-entered my life, I was mesmerized by commercials.

May the weird enters your life in odd ways this week—Happy July!!

An odd, creepy photo from the fort at Mackinac Island

Godzilla vs Pokemon, the Roomba

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