* does everyone automatically lift their foot from the accelerate when they see a cop, or is it just me?
* have we ever measured a dog’s blood pressure to see if our presence makes her pressure go down?
* why did the salesman let me buy a black and blue shirt with a black and blue tie to go with “black” pants that would be revealed to be brown once in the sunlight?
* why didn’t I read the tag on the pants that clearly said “Brown”?
* why does almond milk tarnish silver?
* do people really hate beets or is it the vinegar they’re usually soaked in?
* why does baby apparatus (car seats, strollers, etc) have to be so mechanical?
* is there a plural of apparatus?
* why is slow service at a restaurant considered sophisticated?
* would I be happy driving a Cadillac?
* can anyone do something about my obsession with puns?
* when did “tight” become the only jeans fit?
* do I sound like an old person?
* why does the dog lick Tom’s head?
* what did I not do that I should have done to keep clover from growing in my yard?
* will this unknown mistake haunt me all summer?
* who hit my car?
* why did I spend all of April worrying about the fact I’d used up my WiFi minutes only to get a bill $17 over my regular bill?
* where do I buy cool sneakers now that R. Sole is out of business?
* does anyone realize these are not rhetorical questions?
here’s to creative synthesis . . .
almond milk, creative synthesis, rhetorical questions, silver
*Yes, if they have good sense and decent reflexes.
*Good question. If contented sighs and droopy eyes are any indication, our presence melts our dog like a pat of warm butter. Hopefully her insides are as happy as her outsides.
*He probably knew that you already had a pair of black pants at home and that you needed the brown ones to go with the brown shirt and tie that you bought with those.
*Because reading the tag is cheating.
*It does? I just drank some. I am not tarnished. I think this means that I am not silver.
*Vinegar is a bad influence on many vegetables.
*Apparati? I prefer “thingies.”
*Because it gives you the illusion that you’re living the good life and you have nothing better to do than wait and starve.
*Puns are the spice of life. Maybe not a good spice, but a necessary one, like paprika.
*When the skinny people won.
*Maybe she’s taking his blood pressure.
*Get a fleet of bunnies.
*Get the bunnies. Then they will haunt you all summer, but they are warm and fluffy and way more interesting than the clover.
*Because it means you lost. Next time, Phone Company. Next time.
*I have never had cool sneakers.
*I hoped they weren’t because this comment is now longer than the original post.
Ellen Morris Prewitt
Okay – maybe we should do a tandem blog because not only is the comment longer, it’s funnier (I will tell Tom Evangeline is taking his blood pressure!)
I’m game as long as you wear the brown pants.
This could on and on and on and….