* does everyone automatically lift their foot from the accelerate when they see a cop, or is it just me?
* have we ever measured a dog’s blood pressure to see if our presence makes her pressure go down?
* why did the salesman let me buy a black and blue shirt with a black and blue tie to go with “black” pants that would be revealed to be brown once in the sunlight?
* why didn’t I read the tag on the pants that clearly said “Brown”?
* why does almond milk tarnish silver?
* do people really hate beets or is it the vinegar they’re usually soaked in?
* why does baby apparatus (car seats, strollers, etc) have to be so mechanical?
* is there a plural of apparatus?
* why is slow service at a restaurant considered sophisticated?
* would I be happy driving a Cadillac?
* can anyone do something about my obsession with puns?
* when did “tight” become the only jeans fit?
* do I sound like an old person?
* why does the dog lick Tom’s head?
* what did I not do that I should have done to keep clover from growing in my yard?
* will this unknown mistake haunt me all summer?
* who hit my car?
* why did I spend all of April worrying about the fact I’d used up my WiFi minutes only to get a bill $17 over my regular bill?
* where do I buy cool sneakers now that R. Sole is out of business?
* does anyone realize these are not rhetorical questions?
here’s to creative synthesis . . .