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Just Wondering

* does everyone automatically lift their foot from the accelerate when they see a cop, or is it just me?
* have we ever measured a dog’s blood pressure to see if our presence makes her pressure go down?
* why did the salesman let me buy a black and blue shirt with a black and blue tie to go with “black” pants that would be revealed to be brown once in the sunlight?
* why didn’t I read the tag on the pants that clearly said “Brown”?
* why does almond milk tarnish silver?
* do people really hate beets or is it the vinegar they’re usually soaked in?
* why does baby apparatus (car seats, strollers, etc) have to be so mechanical?
* is there a plural of apparatus?
* why is slow service at a restaurant considered sophisticated?
* would I be happy driving a Cadillac?
* can anyone do something about my obsession with puns?
* when did “tight” become the only jeans fit?
* do I sound like an old person?
* why does the dog lick Tom’s head?
* what did I not do that I should have done to keep clover from growing in my yard?
* will this unknown mistake haunt me all summer?
* who hit my car?
* why did I spend all of April worrying about the fact I’d used up my WiFi minutes only to get a bill $17 over my regular bill?
* where do I buy cool sneakers now that R. Sole is out of business?
* does anyone realize these are not rhetorical questions?

here’s to creative synthesis . . .

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Comments (4)

  • *Yes, if they have good sense and decent reflexes.
    *Good question. If contented sighs and droopy eyes are any indication, our presence melts our dog like a pat of warm butter. Hopefully her insides are as happy as her outsides.
    *He probably knew that you already had a pair of black pants at home and that you needed the brown ones to go with the brown shirt and tie that you bought with those.
    *Because reading the tag is cheating.
    *It does? I just drank some. I am not tarnished. I think this means that I am not silver.
    *Vinegar is a bad influence on many vegetables.
    *Why not?
    *Apparati? I prefer “thingies.”
    *Because it gives you the illusion that you’re living the good life and you have nothing better to do than wait and starve.
    *Nah.
    *Puns are the spice of life. Maybe not a good spice, but a necessary one, like paprika.
    *When the skinny people won.
    *No.
    *Maybe she’s taking his blood pressure.
    *Get a fleet of bunnies.
    *Get the bunnies. Then they will haunt you all summer, but they are warm and fluffy and way more interesting than the clover.
    *Not me.
    *Because it means you lost. Next time, Phone Company. Next time.
    *I have never had cool sneakers.
    *I hoped they weren’t because this comment is now longer than the original post.

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